Getting Her to Stop and Talk to You

August 11, 2004

Getting the mother or the aborting couple to stop and talk to you is easily
the hardest of all sidewalk counseling tasks and without doubt the most important. Sidewalk counseling starts only when you have an opportunity to talk to someone who needs it. There are several reasons why abortion mill clients are reluctant to talk to you:

When the appointment is made the mill owners tell the clients not to pay attention to you when arriving for their appointment.

You may appear to be a person who is intimidating or who may be unpleasant to talk to.

You guessed wrong in your starting approach and something you did or said turned her off to you.

The person controlling the abortion decision does not want to give you a chance to change the mother’s mind so she is rushed into the abortion mill as quickly as possible.

It is easy to become discouraged when facing these formidable obstacles, but if you keep trying someone will eventually stop and talk to you. To make it
happen sooner rather than later do the following:

Do not hang out by the door to the abortion mill. Meet the mother or the couple as she comes toward you. The distance you create between the place where you meet her and the door can be used to get in a few more words when you walk along side her back to the door. You also need time and space to offer pro-life literature to her. So create some space.

Observe the path she is taking as you walk toward her then stop and stand directly in her path. Do this only when she is some distance away not when she is close to you. Do not block her suddenly. Rather give her time to adjust to your position and opt to walk around you if she chooses to do so. Face her squarely with a big smile on your face and offer a warm greeting. Look directly into her eyes and maintain eye contact throughout the whole session. Smile a lot. Dress and act like a person who would be nice to talk to. If she walks past you follow along side her and talk some more. Offer her some pro-life literature as a last resort.

Use creativity and imagination by making use of circumstances as they develop.
Some examples:

It’s a rainy day so you offer to hold an umbrella over her head.

You offer the needed change for a parking meter to those who drive up and park.


You invite her to look at an interesting exhibit while you explain it to her.
I know of one group that rigged up a portable television with a VCR and showed pro-life films.

Keep in mind that your fall-back position is to get pro-life literature into
the mother’s hands in case your initial approach fails to engage her in conversation.
So have it ready.