Special Situations

August 01, 2004

Special Situations in Counseling

Aborting couples in automobiles

It’s a good idea to approach people in automobiles before they exit the car. To do so is to get a head start on talking to them. If you can capture their interest while they are at rest in a secure environment you may be able to keep them from going into the mill. If you are rebuffed at first give them some pro-life literature and move away. Watch them carefully from a distance and try to figure them out. If they are looking at the pro-life literature give them time to finish reading it before coming over and trying to talk to them again.

Women who are crying

A mother who is crying does not want the abortion. You must redouble your efforts with her because she is very close to choosing life. Do not let up on her no matter how tired you are. “Your feelings are telling you the truth. It’s all right, you don’t have to do this. Talk to us. We’ve helped many women like you. It’s all right. We’ll help you find a way to have a living baby.” Often a woman in this situation is being controlled and you will have to deal with the controller. He knows as well as you do how close she is to choosing life and he will fight to keep you away from her. You must have courage here since you probably will be threatened physically. My advice is to step back out of harm’s way, project your voice and keep talking.

Repeaters

Repeaters are women who’ve had one or more abortions previously. They are very hard to reach. If you do succeed in turning one of them around you must spend more time with them in following up since their habit of having their unborn children killed is firmly established.

The boy friend outside the abortion mill

It’s definitely worthwhile to speak to boy friends or husbands as they come out of the mill by themselves. There’s no set way to play this except to allow for masculine psychology when you speak to them. Sometimes you’ll find it’s the father who wants to keep the baby and the mother inside who wants it dead. Your approach in this case is to put some fight into him and get him to go back inside and get her out of there. Tell him that 80% of aborting couples break up within 6 months of an abortion, that she’ll blame him for letting her do this, that she’s doing it because he hasn’t made it clear to her that he’ll be supportive and see it through.

A woman by herself

A woman coming by herself needs a friend very badly. Most likely she’s been told to get rid of the problem or she’ll be dropped. You want to point out to her that anyone with such a callous view of her needs and feelings isn’t worth having, that she’s the one that’s going to have to live with the decision not him. Describe all the harm that can come to her from abortion. Be the friend that she needs.

An abortion enabler companion

An abortion enabler is a woman who has had an abortion and feels very guilty about it. She deals with her guilt by encouraging her friends to choose abortion. If a pregnant friend shows courage and chooses life the enabler’s ego feels threatened. An abortion enabler will fight very hard against you because she wants to believe that abortion is the only way to deal with a crisis pregnancy. If you start to counsel two women and realize that the mother’s friend is an “enabler” make it clear to both of them that you understand what’s going on. Your strategy is to point out the enabler’s true motives and discredit her as the mother’s “friend.”

A woman held inside against her will

From time to time you will run across a situation in which a woman is prevented from leaving the abortion mill by the staff. You’ll discover this in speaking to her companion outside the mill. Her companion will complain to you somewhat in this vein, “They won’t let me talk to my friend inside. I don’t know what to do. She went in this morning only because she thought she had to go through with it. I wanted to tell her what you told me, that the “sticks” can be removed. If she knew about that she wouldn’t be in there. They won’t let me talk to her.”

My advice is first to hand whatever pro-life material you may have on your person to one of your counseling friends. Tell your friend that you’re going inside with the mother’s companion to get the mother out. Tell your friend to call the police and ask them to send someone around because a woman is being held there against her will. Next go inside with the companion as her legal representative and ask to see the mother. When they give you some excuse why you cannot see her do not take no for an answer. Walk boldly through the entire abortion mill shouting her name, opening doors and looking for her. Really make a big fuss. Get physical with the staff if they try to block you. Put yourself in God’s hands and let righteous anger take hold of you. Stop at nothing to get the mother out of there.

A woman is taken away in an ambulance

If you have camera handy be sure to take pictures. Use these photos in imaginative ways:
If the woman dies of the abortion your local newspaper may publish it.
Have it enlarged and display it together with a newspaper account of what happened on posterboard in your pro-life exhibit.
Call the city desk of your local newspaper and fill them in on the details.

By Jerome R. Lackner Sidewalk Counselor's Page Posted: August 1, 2004 01:23 PM